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It wasn’t easy to hire away the team of elite physicists that designed the Hadron Super Collider, but after confirming the existence of the Higgs-Boson particle, they were ready to take on an even tougher problem: warm feet. After hundreds of computer simulations and rapidly-scribbled elaborations of the Schrodinger Equation, they unveiled their solution: create extra-thick socks with long loops of delicious alpaca pile inside, then reinforce them at strategic places so that they hug the foot and never bunch up. Make them machine-washable and dryable, and so moisture-wicking and odor resistant that they’re still fresh after a five-day hiking trip or a slow rocket to Alpha Centauri. Result: new frontiers in physical comfort. For those who must have the warmest. 48% Alpaca, 40% Acrylic, 10% Nylon, 2% Spandex
Note, these are the same weight and construction as our famous Nirvana-Level Alaska Oven Socks.